What we feed our minds is easily as important as what we feed our bodies.
Wholehearted is soulfood for your mind, a weekly observation to nudge your thinking and warm your heart.
My friend needs help, but I’m unsure how to do so. When asked ‘How are you?’ her answer is 'I'm fine.' But we both know that’s not the case.
Over the years, we’ve developed a set of shorthand responses that are instantly decoded.
‘I’m fine’ means ‘I’m not.’
‘I’m OK,’ means ‘Don’t ask.’
‘A bit rough’ means ‘Bring chocolate.’
‘Terrible,’ means the world is ending, though things have to be really bad before either of us would admit to that stage. And when there, no amount of talking changes anything.
We’re both independent women. Some might say stubborn, even cantankerous, though we prefer determined and resolute. It’s all a matter of perception.
Yet when life gets tough and help really would be great, neither definition is useful. Too many years of conditioning make it hard to ask for what we need. ‘I can do this myself’ has morphed into ‘I have to do this on my own.’ This is not a question of gender - rejecting help in the name of self-sufficiency is a common enough trait.
Shutting out offered help says ‘I don’t need you’ and ‘I don’t want to bother you with my stuff.’ Yet isn’t that the whole point of relationships? We do need each other, and friendship means your stuff is never a burden. Consciously or not, that’s what we signed up for.
Being easy to help, makes us vulnerable – I see your soft side.
Being easy to help, keeps us connected – I have your back.
Being easy to help, keeps us balanced – I see myself in you.
Friendship means that we have each other’s best interests at heart, so let’s make it easy to do so.
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